Mirrors and Reflections
by iloveanime12
Summary: "It's Lucy, she left a suicide note." Natsu saved her that night, barely knowing her. When her parents kick her out, she stays with his family, with Wendy. Everyone's asking questions about what happened, except her. He just wants to understand why. The scars on her arms tell a story, a story that's she's never told. "Take off the mask, and let me see you." He said.
1. Pilot

_***Mirrors and Reflections***_

Chapter 1

Gray banged on the door loud and hard. He knew that his best friend and his family were going to be pissed but he could care less at the moment.

He was panting and holding his weight on his knees trying to catch his breath when the door flew open revealing Natsu and his sister Wendy along with his parents.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Natsu yelled. "It's fucking 3 in the morning!"

"It's Lucy," He panted. Grandine and Igneel's face visibly paled. There were tear stains on Gray's face. "She's gone."

"What are you talking about?" Natsu asked. HE knew that she was Gray's sister but that was all. "She is probably with that pervert she calls a boyfriend." Loki was her boyfriend and they hardly ever leave each others side.

"Y-you don't u-understand." He said collapsing to his knees. He then handed him a sheet of paper with dainty hand writing.

"This time she left a suicide note."

Natsu was the first to move. He grabbed his jacket and keys and `looked at his best friend. "Well don't just stand there." He grabbed the collar of Gray's shirt and yanked him up.

"If that is the case then we don't have much time." Natsu said as he dragged Gray to the car with Wendy not far behind. Grandine rushed to the phone and dialed 911.

"Where would she have gone?"

"Probably to the old bridge outside of town. The one that's abandoned. She used to go there a lot." Wendy said shaking a little. She knew that Lucy was depressed, but she never thought it would come to this.

"Hold on." Natsu said as he slammed his foot on the gas pedal.

The town was quiet other than the noise of his engine and the occasional screech of the brakes. His car raced down the east side of town. He knew what bridge Wendy was talking about. He and his friends often went there for swim practice in the summer. He also knew that Lucy couldn't swim from the previous summer.

He turned onto a gravel road that lead to the abandoned bridge outside of town. There were rumors about it of course. Many people said that someone had died on it and it was haunted.

"That's her car." Gray said. As we pulled closer they could see a figure of it, looking down. She was sitting on the bridge, on the railing of it and staring down. She heard them get out of the car, and then her brother's voice cut through the air. "Lucy," She slid closer to the edge. He wasn't stopping her. "Stop please!" She sucked in a breath, close to the edge of tears.

She'd made up her mind already. Instead of saying anything, she jumped.

XXX

Natsu watched as she jumped, and heard Wendy scream. His slid his shirt off and raced forward, diving right off the bridge.

_Just let me get to her._

She broke the water's surface first and he crashed under seconds after her. It was a high drop. She'd be far under within seconds if he didn't make good use of time.

He knew damn well she'd have a panic attack under the water. He swam deeper. _Goddamn it all to hell, I can't fucking see anything_. The water was nearly black at three in the morning. Natsu stretched his arms, trying to feel around for her. His fingers went through strands of hair. Found you. Having no choice, he grabbed her hair and pulled her up, and then took him up in his arms.

He was gasping for air when he came back up. Damn, it was cold tonight. It was November. He waded to the sure, and stepped carefully over the rocks. "Ow," he said. In his mad dash out his front door, he hadn't bothered with shoes. Wendy and Gray were waiting as the blue haired teenage laid her down on the ground. She needed CPR, he realized.

I've never been so glad I learned this.

"Call 911 and let them know where we are." He said roughly and started the compressions on her chest. Had it been any other situation, he would have stared at her chest. It wasn't another situation though. She was about to die, and he was doing his damn best to not let that happen. He bent down and gave the two short breaths. She wasn't breathing normally yet. "Fuck," he grunted and started the compressions again. He kept pumping her chest, thirty times and then the two breaths.

She coughed and rolled to her side after one short breath. She started to breathe as he leaned down for the second breath. He leaned back and let her cough. She sat up slowly, her blonde hair hanging down in wet tendrils. Then she looked over and saw a shirtless Natsu. Her face turned red.

"Are you alright?" he asked seriously.

She'd never know Natsu Dragneel to be serious a day in his life. "Y-yeah." Her teeth were chattering from the iciness of the water. He grabbed the hoodie that Wendy had brought him from his car. After taking a long look at her and seeing her teeth chatter and seeing her shaking from the cold, he draped it over her shoulders. "Thanks." She said quietly and looked away.

He pulled up her hair and reached down for the hair tie on her wrist. His breath came out harsh when he saw multitudes of scars. How long had this been going on? Natsu didn't say anything as she tugged the rubber band off for him. He pulled her hair up and tied it to keep the cold hair off of her wet skin. "Don't scare us like that." He said roughly, and sat beside her. She only looked away, not saying a word. "Whatever made you jump off that bridge wasn't worth it, Lucy. Got that?" he said.

Sirens and red and blue lights filled the night. Gray was at the top of the hill, and talking to the police on the bridge. Her parents were waiting in their car to follow the ambulance to the hospital. 13 year old Ami (OC) was sitting in the back seat with her small hands pressed to the glass, wondering if her sister was okay.

Lucy started to cry and Natsu looked over horrified. What the hell do I do? How do I comfort her? He sighed. He never comforted girls, not even the girls he broke up with after short relationships.

In front of them Wendy looked at her brother's terrified expression and hung her head. She looked at Lucy, and to the top of the hill. Her eyes met her mother's, who was standing next to Igneel. They were rushing down the hill. Paramedics were behind them. were behind them.

"Lucy, Natsu," Grandine called out, draping a blanket around her son who was beside the sobbing girl. The middle-aged woman took this as her cue to help her, because she knew her son was hopeless in helping her. "Lu -chan," she knelt down in front of her.

Igneel pulled his son off the ground and watched the shaking girl.

"They're going to kill me," she sobbed and clung to the woman who was her second mother. Grandine rubbed her back and let her cry. "I can't go back there!" she wailed. That was when Wendy came over and gripped her friend's arms, turning her to look at her.

"You can stay with us," she said. "Mom and Dad already know about everything." Later on, she knew this already, Lucy was going to be so pissed that she had told. Right now she didn't even notice. "It'll be okay." She whispered.

Natsu watched, confused and dazed. Who was going to kill her? What was going on? He looked at Lucy, and saw the red and blue lights flashing across her face and reflecting in her eyes.

XXX

Gray, Wendy, and Natsu stood in the hospital impatiently. They hadn't released her yet. It had already been determined that she wouldn't go to a mental hospital, but her parents had made a huge scene. They made it clear. They're not taking her home. They kicked her out. The same words kept going through Natsu's mind over and over again. How could they do that?

Gray wasn't surprised though, not at all. He was still angry over it though. Their parents had stormed out of the hospital with their "golden child" Ami. Lucy was left in the hospital room resting.

"Mom, Dad," Wendy said, rushing up to them as they came out of Lucy's hospital room.

Her father cut her off with one of his calming smiles. "Don't worry, Wendy. She's staying with us." Natsu heard that and his sister's sigh of relief. "Any objections?" He asked Natsu.

He shook his head. "After that she needs a place to stay. Wendy's her best friend, so it's probably for the best." Igneel clapped him on the shoulder.

"You did well," he said quietly and looked at him. "If it weren't for you, she'd be gone. She can't swim."

"I remember," Natsu said, brushing off the praise. He didn't need to be praised for his actions. Even if he was an asshole at school, he did what he did to save Lucy, not get credit. "Last summer, she freaked out at the lake."

"Well," Grandine said, sliding off her long winter coat. "She's okay. She'll have to have counseling but physically she's fine."

Natsu wondered what was wrong mentally though. She always seemed happy at school, and she always seemed really happy when the Pervert was around. Speaking of him, where was he?

"Where's Loki?" he asked. "Shouldn't he be here? He's her boyfriend."

Two cold looks turned to him. Wendy and Gray were giving him an icy look. "Don't mention his name around her, got that?" Wendy seethed. He actually stepped backwards. Obviously, he'd struck a real chord. "He was cheating," She said after that. That surprised him a lot. She found out yesterday.

"You don't think that's why she tried to kill herself, do you?" he found himself asking the question he thought everyone else was thinking. He was wrong about that though.

"That's not why at all," Wendy said crisply, and turned away.

Her brother got the message loud and clear. Don't ask questions, because he wouldn't like the answers.

XXX

When Lucy woke up, she shot up out of the hospital bed. The memories from last night rushed back to her. She flinched and remembered her parents coming in and yelling. 'We're so ashamed!' 'Why are you causing us trouble?' 'Why can't you be more like Ami?' The last one was always the one that got her the most.

"Good morning," she jumped off of the bed at the voice. "Sorry," she looked over and saw Natsu. Her brother was asleep with Wendy semi in his lap. She remembered him from last night. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I just jumped off of a bridge," she said dryly. His eyebrow quirked and he slid the blanket he had off of him.

"I see. At least you remember what happened." He said, and watched her bring her legs up to her chest.

"I guess," She shrugged.

"You're living with us now," he said, hoping he'd get a reaction out of her. Her head whipped towards him. "Yeah. You're living with us now."

"Says who?"

"My parents," he told her. Her shoulders slumped. She really wasn't going home. "Do you want to go home?" he asked, hoping to get an answer so he'd know a little about her. She shrugged like she didn't care. "We have school tomorrow," he said.

"Okay," Her reply was quiet.

She wasn't going to give him any answers at all, he realized.

XXX

The next day

Everyone was staring at her as she made her way to her locker. Their eyes dropped to her bandaged arm. Wendy had bandaged all the way up her arm when she accidentally reopened the wounds. Natsu almost had a heart attack when he walked into his bathroom-merely wanting a shower-and saw Lucy's forearm covered in scarlet. She learned that Natsu really, really didn't like blood.

Her messenger bag's strap was across her chest, and her bandaged arm dangling at her side while she opened her locker. There were rumors already circulating. Whatever. Then Evergreen came up to her. She really didn't have the patience for this today, but contained herself while shoving her books in her locker. I'd like to just shove myself in here to get away from her. She doubted that would work though.

"Did Natsu save you last night?" she asked, in that damn accusing tone. She nodded grudgingly, stretching to put a notebook on the stop shelf. "Did his parents really take you in?" Oh, how did I know that one was coming? Lucy was laughing in her head. She nodded again.

"Yeah, is that a problem?" she shot back, putting her red and black bag on the hook in her locker.

Lisanna looked her up and down; her groupies were already forming a line behind her. "I guess not. Since I doubt my boyfriend would be interested in a charity case."

That got Lucy's blood broiling. Sighing, she smiled sweetly. "That's just wonderful," she said sarcastically, shoving past her. "I've got better things to do with my life than listen to your annoying voice." She had her bandaged arm hanging down, clutching the notebook and text book she need.

"Ironic that you're talking about having things to do with your life when you just tried to end it, isn't it?" Lisanna smirked. Sighing, Lucy whirled around and walked up to her slowly. She wanted a reaction, and then she'd get one. Lucy got in her face and stared at her with hate.

"Yes, I guess it is." She shrugged. "But tell me more, since you're acting like you know so fucking much about my life. Really, I make this face when I'm intrigued."

Onlookers kept their distance, but kept staring and whispering.

"What's going on?" Natsu asked as he and one of his friends rounded a corner. Then he stopped when he saw Blondy in Lisanna's face. That's…a new development. Lucy was always so shy and quiet though. The rumors must have pissed her off. He'd been in school for ten minutes and had already been bombarded with questions and fan girls. The second one was the terrifying one.

Lucy looked like she had no problem standing her ground against the head fan girl herself though. Lisanna shoved her suddenly and his eyes widened. If he went to help Lucy now, she'd give him hell. He had a feeling she liked to do things on her own.

"Is this my Natsu-koi's jacket?" she shrieked.

Natsu realized she was wearing it. He'd told her to keep it for the day, but the sleeves were shoved up. She obviously didn't give a shit who saw those bandages. He cringed at the memory from this morning.

Her voice came through loud and clear though. Her words left even him speechless. She's got guts. "Yeah it is. Got a problem with it?" She shot back with a tone that could make the Terminator cringe. Lisanna's face got red with anger as Lucy spun on her heel, walking away.

She realized she was heading Natsu's way, but her expression didn't change. As she passed him, she gave him a slight glance. Then she shrugged off his jacket and tossed it to him without even stopping to say anything.

She just continued on her way, her step never faltering. Natsu found himself turning, looking at her go. His fuming girlfriend of the week was beside him, pulling at his arm.

"Natsu -koi, can I wear your jacket?" she begged with wide eyes.

He looked down at her. "No," he said and walked towards the boy's locker room with his friends, with his varsity jacket slung right over his shoulder.

XXX

By the end of the day, Lucy was ready to add a few more people to her shit list. Levy was one of them at the moment though_. If you whisper my name one more time, I will cut you. _She thought. Wendy laughed beside her. "I said that out loud, didn't I?" Lucy asked, looking sheepishly. Natsu was in front of her, silently laughing. She'd never noticed that he sat in front of her in this class.

"Well, it's better to cut her than yourself, right?" Natsu said. When he didn't get a reply, he turned to see Lucy give him a look that could make flowers wilt. "Okay, touchy subject. I'm sorry." He apologized. She shrugged and turned to Wendy again. Jesus, she was so infuriating! He didn't know what she was thinking at all because of that shrug. Is that what my smirk does?

There was laughter from across the room. "Yeah, and then her parents kicked her out!" Levy was gossiping as usual. Natsu listened to his sister and Lucy's conversation.

"I'm not saying I hate her," Lucy paused. "But if she was on fire, I'd roast marshmallows." He choked on his own laughter as he listened. Wendy laughed and Lucy kept going. "I'm not saying she's a slut, but I'm surprised they haven't made her black hole on check in place on Facebook yet." He laughed harder and couldn't cover it up. "The check in place would be called super massive black hole of no return."

Lucy only kept going because of Wendy's-and even Natsu's-laughter. Levy heard though, because she complained loudly.

"Ugh, what is that smell?" she groaned.

"Probably you," Natsu called out. The blonde behind him fell back laughing as Levy blushed bright red. Lucy wiped away a fake tear.

"How long do you think she'll go on about Loki leaving her?" Another girl whispered.

Natsu went to talk, but a fiery voice cut him off. "Please, I'd get more action from a tampon." Lucy called out. Natsu's eyes widened. He had no idea she got like this. Come to think of it, he didn't know anything about any side of her.

Lucy laid her head down on her desk. "You're a lot different than I thought you'd be." Natsu told her.

"I just don't have patience for today. Besides, if everyone wants to talk, I don't really see the point in putting up a mask."

A mask…? He stared at her hair and then his sister. It was obvious Wendy knew everything there was to know about Lucy. So, he wasn't the only one with a mask.

Wendy poked her best friend. "Do you want to go get some Ramen?"

"Are you and Gray going to act like idiots while I'm there?" There was silence. "No, thank you." She said. "But thank you for inviting me though." Wendy forced a smile. She was trying so hard to not let anyone really see the turmoil inside. Lucy always did that.

XXX

Natsu Dragneel dived into the water like he always found himself doing after school. Swim practice was an everyday thing for him and right now, he wanted to be underneath the water to escape everyone who was branding him as a hero. God, I just did the right thing.

His friends were full of questions, and were hell bent on asking them. They just wanted the full story, and he wasn't going to tell them. He could at least give her some privacy.

When he came back up, he gripped the ladder and climbed out of the pool. Lisanna rushed over to him gushing about a new sale. He just nodded his head and played along. It was easier to just appease her then to find something he really wanted to talk about.

"…your jacket?"

"Huh?" he asked, coming out of his thoughts. She pouted. Was that supposed to look cute?

"Why did Lucy Heartfilia have your jacket?" she asked, grabbing his hands and leaning up to kiss his cheek.

He raked his hands through his hair and he dried off with a towel. He'd just be totally honest about it. "When I pulled her out of the lake she was freezing, so I let her wear it. I told her to keep it for the day." He dried his hair and ignored her stare of hate.

"Gray said you gave her mouth to mouth."

He groaned. That idiot didn't know how to stay quiet. "Well, yeah." He said. "It was kind of needed." She huffed and crossed her arms. It was a little too bitchy that she'd rather Amu have been hurt then receive mouth to mouth from him. "Lisanna," he began.

He didn't get to finish though, because she jumped forward and kissed him hard. He grumbled and pushed her off of him, making his way to the locker room. First, he showered, and then dried off. He checked his phone and found a text from Wendy.

_Do you think you could give Lucy a ride back to the house? _

He sent her a text back saying '_yes' _and changed into his clothes. She texted back fast.

_You'll find her in the library._

After he was ready to go, he grabbed his keys and made his way to the library.

**Gosh this chapter was long… Okay just to clear up any confusion here are the ages and characters:**

**Lucy-17 Gray-18**

**Natsu- 18 Wendy-17**

**Lisanna- 17 Levy- 17**

**Sorry for any confusion, spelling, or grammar mistakes! **

**PLEASE REVIEW**

**V**


	2. Chapter 2

Lucy was sitting on a window ledge in the library deleting pictures from her phone when Natsu came in. He saw her and walked towards her, ignoring his vibrating phone is his jacket. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she looked like she'd been crying. Her eye make-up was smeared.

She looked over at him, as she snapped her phone shut. "Are you coming?" he asked her, and she grabbed her bag. She walked silently past him, and he followed her to the parking lot.

He steered her towards his car and unlocked the doors with a push of the button on the remote. Lucy slid into the passenger seat and reopened her phone. She was deleting all of Loki's messages and pictures that she had. She didn't want any memories of him at all.

"So, how was your day?" he asked as he stopped at an intersection.

"It was alright," she said. "You know, I'm not going to tell you thank you." She said and ignored the bewilderment that crossed his face. She was staring out the window. "What you did was great. You did the right thing, I can say that." She paused, thinking. "But I was okay with never coming back up."

He pressed on the gas as he thought. "Why did you jump off the bridge? Why do you cut?" The questions tumbled out.

Buildings reflected in her gold eyes as they passed. The sky was dark and cloudy, preparing to rain. He was holding her breath, waiting for her to answer. He didn't believe that she would actually tell him why.

"That's not your concern," she finally said, as they pulled into the driveway. "Someday, maybe I'll be able to thank you for saving me." She bowed her head in apology in case her words were too harsh or rude and stepped out of the car.

"I don't want to be in the dark about what's going on in my house." He snapped, harsher than he intended.

She looked back at him over her shoulder. "Go listen to some rumors then. Some people know things about me." She walked inside, politely removing her shoes and then saying hello to Grandine. "How was your day?" she asked.

"Oh, it was long. Igneel and I went over to your house and got most of your things. If there's anything else that you need from there, just let us know, okay?" She was so polite with her words. Even though she was only cleaning the house, she moved so gracefully. If it was Lucy she would have already tripped over the coffee table.

"Thank you so much." She said and meant it. While she wasn't surprised Wendy's parents took her in, she was grateful. Grandine was like a second mother to her these days and always let her vent to her. "Did my parents give you any trouble?" She sure hoped not. From experience, Lucy was well aware of the things her parents could say. She shuddered.

"They were yelling about us being in their house, but that didn't matter since we had the police escort us." She gave a knowing smile to the teenager.

"Did they…say anything about me?" she asked, and her voice trembled just a little. She loved her parents and missed when they showed her love. Now they showed her hate.

Grandine looked at her grimly. "Lucy, you know that I wouldn't tell you what they said." Lucy nodded, not noticing Natsu passing behind her. He tried to not eavesdrop, but listened some. "How was school? Are any of the kids starting things with you?" Lucy cast her eyes downwards. "I see. I know it spread fast, but I can always have a word with the superintendent."

The blonde haired girl shook her arms and hands. "No, no, that's okay! It's nothing, really!" Natsu arched an eyebrow while he listened. Was she trying to save his mom trouble? "It's no big deal. I've learned to deal with these things since, well, you know." _I don't know though_, Natsu thought. He hoped she'd say it. She had his interest and he wanted to know more.

"I know, Lucy." Sympathy shined in her eyes. "It's been about a year, hasn't it?" she asked.

Lucy had transferred to their school about ten months ago, Natsu remembered. Had something happened to make her move schools? Maybe someone was bullying her, or there was a possessive ex-boyfriend. His thought ran amuck while he waded through possibilities. _It's none of your concern._ Her words echoed through his head again. She really didn't want to talk about things with him. To be brutally honest, he was pretty sure that she did not like him one bit. He was a bit of a player, he supposed… _At least I don't sleep with every girl,_ he thought. _Yeah, because that changes everything_. He left the room, and headed for his room.

"Yeah," Lucy said, thinking of her friends. "I miss them." She whimpered. Grandine hugged her like her mother used to hug her. Lucy was grateful she didn't say how 'it wasn't her fault'. Everyone told her that, and then others…well they flat out blamed her. Lucy blamed herself too.

"You look exhausted, Lucy."

"I am," she yawned. "I didn't sleep last night. The hospital bed was really uncomfortable."

"Go take a nap, okay? All of your things are already in the guest room for you."

XXX

She groaned as she heard her phone vibrate. "Dammit," she mumbled, blindly reaching on the night stand for the hunk of plastic she called her cell phone. It was a text message she realized. The alarm clock to her right told her it was 4:57 in the morning. _That was a long nap._ She opened the text message and the sudden bright light in the dark room hurt her eyes. "Bright light! Bright light!" she whispered harshly and fumbled with her phone, trying to dim it. She lost her grip and it slipped, hitting her in her teeth. "Son of a," she cut herself off and tried again.

_After _dimming it and rolling over where her phone was below her-she didn't want another surprise attack-she opened the message. She knew the number unfortunately. Even though she deleted his contact and everything, she knew his number by heart.

_Are you busy?_ She stared at the message, and then the time it was sent, trying to not laugh. It didn't work. She snickered quietly. It had been sent at 4:45 this morning, so not too long ago.

She replied. _It's past 4 in the morning. Yeah, I'm busy. I'm sleeping, or I was until you woke me up. _She turned off her phone as tossed it on the floor. "Loki, you're an idiot." She grumbled and curled up amidst the blankets.

Next door Natsu was lying awake and staring at the ceiling. He heard rustling coming from Lucy's room, but ignored it. She hadn't come out of her room the entire night. It made him wonder if she had cut herself again. Rolling over, he squeezed his eyes shut. What did he care about what she did? It was her choice, right? No, wrong. He didn't want her cutting herself. She didn't need to mutilate herself.

Questions ran through his head. Scenarios were attacking his mind. What if he hadn't found her in the water? What if they'd been a minute later? What if the CPR hadn't worked? What if, what if, what if. His mind was going through thoughts he didn't want to have.

He'd never even paid her any thought before. Now, she was harassing his thoughts because he was worried she'd go off the deep end again. Wait. Worried? No. Maybe he felt pity, but could he really worry about someone he didn't know? He thought back to the bridge. Had he been scared when he saw her jump off?

Well, who wouldn't be scared if someone was trying to kill themselves in front of them? The screams from his sister and his friend Gray, the wailing of the police sirens, the flashing blue and red lights were engraved in his memory. The night was truly terrifying. Even though he didn't really want to admit it, he had felt so much despair when he was trying to get her to breathe.

He tossed over again. "Damn you, Heartfilia."

XXX

The next morning Lucy received more stares than she had the day before. Most of the stares belonged to crazed fan girls when they witnessed her get out of Natsu's car. Wendy climbed out of the backseat as Gray came over to them. He hugged Lucy in attempt to calm her down.

"I told you I should have taken the bus," Lucy said to Natsu who was walking ahead of her and a little to her right. His eyes were scanning for Lisanna, because he really wanted to avoid her.

"No," he said back, rubbing his eyes. He was so tired. "You'll ride with us."

"And face the spray tanned horde of fan girls." She grumbled, as a blonde girl shoved her books out of her hands. She stopped right there with everyone watching. She looked down. _Don't do anything. Just pick up your things and walk away._ She didn't get to pick up her things because Natsu did it for her, while glaring at the girl who did it. The blonde flinched back and looked like she'd cry.

"Thank you, Natsu." She murmured. She moved past him and rushed for the doors. She was used to that kind of treatment now, but it still stung. _All she did was shove my books down_, Lucy thought. _So why am I getting choked up over it?_ She knew why though. During the five months she dated Loki all of the harsh comments and bullying stopped.

Sure, she had some friends, but it was mainly Wendy who helped her when it came to his. Lucy went straight to her locker and opened it. There was a folded white paper in the bottom. She knelt down and picked it up. Her hands were a little shaky. It truly wasn't the first time she'd found letters in her locker. They were always hate letters, with no name.

She unfolded it while people walked by. She felt someone collide with her shoulder hardly and keep walking. She stared at the words on the page. The stationary was fancy, leading her to believe it was someone who may have a little more money than most.

_I hate you._

The three words stared back at her and she stared back. Water pricked her eyes, but she didn't cry. Those words got tossed around a lot. She slid the note into her bag and put away her things.

XXX

The day progressed slowly for her. She dragged through her classes and avoided contact with anyone. She ate her lunch on the roof and took her bag with her. While she was up there, she was alone. Lucy unwrapped a few inches of the bandaging, baring the wounds and scars to the fresh-probably not so clean-air. She dug through her bag until she found a blade.

She let the sharp metal touch her skin and made a cut. She was sure to not go to deep while she was at school. She had the afternoon classes and then work at the café to get through. Cutting deep would have been bad. Not to mention, there would be a large scarlet stain on the white gauze. This would make a small one, barely noticeable.

Blood seeped out of the straight lined cut as she wrapped the bandage back around. The bell rang and she made her way to her next class.

Lisanna and Natsu were in that class and she passed them while she walked up the aisle between their desks to get to her seat in the back. Lisanna got a mean look on her face and stuck her foot out, tripping Lucy.

Her chocolate eyes widened as she hit the floor. Her hands were flat, braced against the cold tile. It felt like the cut had open a little more. Her bag was in front of her and the note had slipped out.

Natsu was beyond pissed that Lisanna did that. He got the satisfaction of seeing her enraged face as he grabbed Lucy's hand and pulled her up. She kept her eyes down, refusing to cry. She snatched the note and her bag up as she held her head up a little. She heard the words around her though.

"…_Freak." "She deserved that." "I never liked her." "Everyone hates her, even her own parents do.'_

She told herself to not do anything, because if she was suspended it was going to cause trouble to Grandine and Igneel. But, a few seconds later, she realized she didn't have to do anything at all. Because Wendy was going on a hate rage.

"Excuse me, what did you just do, Lisanna?" she yelled and pushed her right out of her seat. Lisanna hit the floor on her knees.

Lucy stepped away from Natsu and he looked at her. She looked at the verge of tears. _Just get through the day and then you'll be okay._

Lisanna got back up and looked to Natsu for support. She didn't receive any though. Natsu had already stepped in front of Lucy, like if you wanted to get to her, you'd go through him first. "What are you doing, Natsu?" she whined. Then she glared at Lucy.

Lucy stepped out from behind him, and gave her an icy look. The cool and calm girl from yesterday wasn't there. The scared girl was standing in front of Natsu now and her lip was quivering.

"Get away from him." Lisanna said.

The Blonde haired teenager brought her head up to look at her. "Get away from _me_." She said quietly. Lisanna's hand came up and she went to slap her. She caught her by her wrist.

Lisanna's eyes scanned her arm that as covered in bandages. "Is that blood?" she said disgusted. The little red spot had grown some. She crinkled her nose. "You shouldn't be here." Lucy's world froze on its axis. The last person that had said that was…Loki. He didn't matter much at this point, but still. Memories are painful. She dropped Lisanna's arm and turned. She heard her laugh. "You really are weak."

She snapped. Wendy probably knew she was going to snap when she turned back around. She hated being talked down, and being bullied. Everyone would hate that! Everyone would hate being singled out and judged for something they do! None of them knew the truth, yet they believed they did.

Her fists clenched and she bit her lip. "Don't call me weak when you have to talk about other people and slip hate letters in their lockers to make you feel strong!" She said.

Natsu's anger grew when he heard her words. Had Lisanna really left a hate letter?

"Don't call me weak, because I'm still here!" she yelled.

The outburst was one even Wendy never thought would happen. Lucy didn't speak up, ever.

"I don't need your input about my life, or about my business. Whether I died on that bridge or not, what the hell is to you?"

Lisanna didn't say anything at all. She blinked slowly.

Lucy left after that, and left the school after telling Grandine what happened on the phone.

The saddening part was that she knew that the rumors and bullying weren't just going to stop. The ones that were serious about being mean to her wouldn't stop.

XXX

The café was mostly empty during her shift. She sat behind the counter lazily doing homework. She was the only one working today. She'd already cleaned the tables, the counter-top, the machines, and everything. There was nothing to do.

She thought about the day's events. Sighing, she closed the text book and moved to get a drink, while paying for it too.

She wondered what was going to happen next. She ignored her vibrating phone, and laid her head down somberly. She knew she'd just go back into her shell and hide. She really hated confrontations like the one today. Taking it wasn't healthy either, but she blocked it out.

XXX

The house was quiet except for the noise from the T.V in the living room. She walked in expecting to see Wendy. She saw Natsu instead. Then she remembered. Friday nights are girl nights for her.

_I brought her food for her to not be here._

"Hey," she said, coming to stand next to the arm rest. He looked up. "Do you want this? I just got off work and brought Wendy food. But she's not here. Do you want it?"

"What is it?" he asked, taking the bag from her hand. It smelled delicious.

"It's a cinnamon roll." She said, taking a bite of her own. "Thanks for helping me earlier she said.

"I thought you said you weren't thanking me," he gave her a smile.

"I said I wasn't thanking for you saving my life, not helping with people at school." She said back, taking another bite.

"Is it always like that?" Natsu had never noticed before if that was how it was. He was wrapped up in his own world, full of girls, parties and swim meets.

"It's none of your concern." She said, smirking. She watched the frustration go across his face as she turned for the stairs. In reality, she really just didn't want to get people involved in the drama of everything.

"Fine, don't tell me. Do you want to watch this with me?" he asked. She looked at him surprised. "What? Maybe I'd like to get to know you since you're living here." She stared at him. He was a player from all accounts she'd heard. She wasn't sure about staying. "I don't bite," he said. "Unless you want me to."

"If you bite me, I'll cut you."

"Is that your phrase?" he asked, laughing. She shrugged and sat on the opposite end of the couch.

"I guess so," she muttered and looked at the screen. It was a crime show. She had an addiction to these.

"This is really good," he said. "Did you make it?"

"If I made that, you'd already be dead." She said it dryly with a blank face. He started to laugh hard. "I hope you realize I'm really not kidding."

"That would be bad for customers." She shrugged. "Your phone is vibrating."

"It has been for six hours." She replied.

"Who is it?"

"Loki. I refuse to talk to him. I know him well enough to know that he'll tell me how he loves me and how he'll never cheat again."

"And if he does that?" This time he was genuinely curious.

"I'll call bullshit."

He snickered as they settled into silence.


	3. Chapter 3

**If everyone is wondering why the characters are out of character that is because this story comes from personal experience. **

**Ex: Levy is Lucy's best friend and in my story They hate each other. This is because my best friend turned on me as well and she kind of fits Levy's image so... why not? Anyway Onward to the story! **

Monday came all too soon for her. As soon as her eyes opened, she thought about faking sick. No, Grandine would see right through that. Lucy was already wishing she'd just never said anything to Lisanna because of the overwhelming uneasiness in her stomach.

There was a knock on the door, and Wendy poked her head in. "Are you okay?" she asked, shutting the door quietly behind her and striding across the room. She sat down on the cushioned mattress beside her friend and gave her a worried look. She was protective of Lucy, and tried her best to keep her safe. There are too many people that get off on putting others down and when Lucy was behind her mask, it was easy to do that to her.

Lucy shrugged and slipped out of bed, stretching. She was wearing flannel pajama pants that were baggy and a blue tank top.

"Come on, let's redress that." Wendy said, pointing at the bandage. There were a few red stains on it, but she didn't say anything. She wasn't sure how to help Lucy since she'd rarely talk about her feelings. She wouldn't talk about her parents, or the accident. She watched as closely as she could though, to see if anything changed.

Lucy followed her into the bathroom and set on the counter. She knew Wendy would see the new cuts, and was only a little worried whether she'd react badly. The Blue haired girl's eyes widened and her lip quivered, but she didn't breathe a word. She cleaned the cuts with peroxide and dabbed it with a cloth.

There were scars there, a few fresh cuts, and then a few closing cuts.

The door slammed open and Lucy jumped, hitting her head on the mirror behind her. Natsu was standing the doorway holding a towel. His face colored slightly at his sudden entrance. His eyes dropped to her arm and she turned her head away from him.

He was able to see her arm in a new light then he did on the bridge. It was worse than he'd originally thought. The scars were angry marks that were in straight lines.

"If you're going to stand there, help me and hand me the gauze." Wendy said as she finished cleaning the new cuts. He rummaged under the sink until he found the new package of gauze. There was like ten boxes of gauze._ I guess Mom and Dad wanted to be careful_ he thought as he took in the sight of all of them.

Lucy's slender legs dangled beside his face. He looked over at them and saw that they were toned. Standing though, he took his eyes away from them and handed his sister the gauze. She wrapped the gauze over her arm and he saw fresh cuts. They were just little red lines, but it made him sick. How can she do that to herself? He was starting to notice that he was left with more questions than answers.

"How was your swim meet Saturday?" Wendy asked as Lucy slipped past him-accidentally brushing her arm against his-and out the door. He realized she'd never even said a word to him. Come to think of it, he hadn't heard her talk at all this weekend. He hadn't even seen her at all. Maybe she has a part time job, he though.

"It was good," he said. Laxus and Natsu had done the best though. The rest of the team slacked off. On top off all of that, Lisanna came to his meet-which was a good two hours away-just to harass him. He'd never wanted to get away from a girl so badly in his life. "Lisanna showed up."

Wendy's mouth pressed into a hard line. "Listen good, keep your slut of a girlfriend away from Lucy." She said harshly. "If you don't, I swear I'll end her." (This is what happens when Wendy gets other XD)

"I know," He paused. "On the first day after we saved Lucy, she seemed cool and collected. Almost like she could handle anything you threw at her." Wendy froze up. She was surprised he'd paid much attention. "And then, the next day, on Friday, she seemed timid. Almost like she was going against herself when she said those things to Lisanna."

She held back the urge to let her jaw drop. He had it exactly right. No one around her except for her ever figured that out, or bothered to notice. Instantly, her guard was up. Her brother was somewhat of a player and honestly, she wasn't sure it was a good idea for him to be close to Lucy. She thought he was a real player. She was bound to get confused.

"What about it?" She asked smoothly. The thought of people getting close absolutely petrified Lucy because of her trust issues. That was where Wendy helped without her noticing. People didn't come by her if she had Wendy with her. They knew better than to mess with her.

"How did she change so fast?" he blurted out.

"She wears a mask like you do." She stated bluntly. She could say some truths and still be vague. Natsu wasn't likely to go away unless he got some answers. "She's usually pretty quiet except if Gray is around, or I'm around. You haven't noticed how she gets treated because you're wrapped up in dating every girl in the school." He flinched at her tone of poison. "Stay away from Lucy, for her sake. She doesn't like people getting close."

"I want to get to know her." He argued, and surprised them both by saying it.

"Natsu, please take my word. She doesn't want to know you, and it's not because she's mean either. Lucy just doesn't like people."

"What happened to her?"

He kept coming at her with questions and she kept dodging bullets with vague answers.

"It's none of your business, Natsu!" She screamed loudly. "I'm telling you this for her sake, don't ask questions. If you're near her, Lisanna is sure to follow and then she'll start something all over again." Even as she spoke, she knew Natsu wasn't just going to not talk to Lucy. He was a little nosy and even if he was admitting it to himself yet, he wanted to help.

XXX

"Everyone's staring." Lucy said quietly in the car. Wendy was already bouncing over to her bestfriend Gray in the parking lot. He looked angry. Maybe he had a fight with their parents. "I don't want to be here." She whimpered.

He looked over at her and pulled his key out. She looked terrified, but he saw how she was putting on a mask.

"It'll be alright," he told her and reached into the back seat, grabbing his swim bag and her messenger bag. "Here," he set it in her lap. She seemed so distant from him, and the world.

Sighing, she got out of the passenger seat and hauled her bag out with her. People watched her lift the strap and let it fall on her right shoulder, and let the strap fall between her breasts. She was wearing a simple pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Her hair flowed down and her head was down. She stared down at her black moccasins. She resisted the urge to bail when a few people about ten feet away talked loudly about her incident with Saaya.

We didn't even fight and everyone is up in arms about it.

"Wait," she turned and saw Natsu walking up behind her. Wendy narrowed her eyes at Natsu, watching him. She'd be in-between them in an instant if he did something stupid. "You don't want them to see you, right?" he whispered.

She could only imagine how it looked to the others. Natsu Dragneel, the most popular teenage boy on campus, whispering in her ear. She expected Lisanna to suddenly jump out with some kind of weapon. That didn't happen though.

"Right," She said back, shuffling her feet in a puddle. She didn't see his smile as she felt something drape over her shoulders. She recognized the jacket. It was a Letterman's jacket, Natsu's Letterman's jacket to be exact. The insignia for varsity swim was unmistakable. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"Pull the hood up," he said, reaching back and tugging it over her head. It was custom made because he had wanted a hood on it. It was large on her and it hid her eyes even if she held her head up.

"What the hell is he doing?" Gray asked in surprise as he watched them. That jacket was like Natsu's child. No one got to wear it. But Lucy was wearing it for the second time now.

Wendy smiled though, just a little.

"Come on," Natsu said, ignoring all the stares they were receiving. "I'll make sure you don't run into anything, alright?" She nodded and let him grasp the fabric of the sleeve and lead her to the doors. The silence to her ears was deafening. She felt awkward, and like she was being a bother. He didn't have to help her, she'd be okay.

He led her all the way to her locker. "You remembered where my locker is?" she asked suspiciously. He nodded as she shrugged out of his jacket. Girls were flat out staring now, but not in hate, more of jealousy. "Here." She said and folded his jacket over his arm. "Thanks." She said. That was the third time now she'd told him thank you. Lucy was beginning to feel indebted and she hated that. She would do things on her own.

"You can keep it for the day if you want." He said quietly, handing it back.

"You should let Lisanna wear it instead." She said as she twisted her lock. "She's your girlfriend, so shouldn't you be with her right now?"

He was taken aback by her answer. That wasn't the reply he was expecting. He didn't even get a smile from her. She turned away from him and began her morning ritual of taking everything out of her bag and getting her things for her first class. She wasn't going to look at him, or talk to him. If she did, he was liable to get more trouble for him. It was better for her to isolate herself.

He hadn't moved from his spot yet, and was trying to think of something to say. He wanted to ask questions, but there were no answers he was allowed to hear.

If you listened to society's norms, he should be with his girlfriend. He should probably meet her in the mornings, but he didn't. He tried to avoid her constantly and tried to escape and evade the moments when she found him. She didn't qualify as a girlfriend, and he didn't even qualify as a boyfriend.

The thought came out of nowhere and he blurted out. "I don't want to see her."

"Then don't see her, but I don't want to see you either." She said and he stepped towards her. _Why didn't he leave?_ Lucy asked herself and shut her locker. Adjusting her bandages, she looked down. His eyes were too intense to meet and she knew it.

"Did I do something?" he asked, and tried to tug on her shoulder.

Her eyes flashed open and she shot away from him, her back hitting the locker. Everyone stared at her and then at Natsu. Had he done something? What happened? Her breath was harsh and memories were blindsiding her.

"Lucy…?" he asked, and moved forward.

All of sudden, Gray was there in front of her, looking menacing. A question mark appeared over Natsu's head.

"Don't ever touch me again." She said in a low voice, as if it were a threat. Then she turned and ran down the hallway away from him.

XXX

She sank down to the tile with her back against the bathroom wall. She made it through her first class before it became too much. She was supposed to be in her second class right now, but one look at her and the teacher let her escape to the confines of the bathroom. Sobs were racking her small body. It felt like everything had just happened.

_Erza, Mira, Juvia I am so sorry_. She repeated the thought over and over again in her head. She missed them like hell and would trade anything to bring them back. This wasn't supposed to happen. The four of them were supposed to enjoy high school and then go on a trip to America like they'd planned. That would never happen now because they were gone. Lucy was alive, and haunted by the guilt.

What would have happened if she hadn't left that night? Would they be here still? Would they be laughing right now in their old Math class? If she hadn't left, could she have saved them? Would she have died with them?_ I'd rather be dead with them then live with this. It's my entire fault. I'm so sorry!_

She dipped her hand into the pocket of one of her folders. As her slender fingers wrapped around the familiar shape of the utility razor blade, she breathed out. "Don't go too far, Lucy." She told herself quietly. "You're in school." Then again, did she really care? She hid herself away in a stall and lowered the toilet seat. The stall was cramped, so she was able to sit on the toilet's lid and lean her back to the wall.

"I'll just…let go for a little while." She whispered.

XXX

She returned to class at the end of the hour. Quietly, she opened the door and went to her seat. Her arm was stinging like hell. She cleaned every trace of it with peroxide, and she was regretting it a lot. That was just terrible and painful. But that was okay. Pain was distracting to her. She looked out the window, and up at the clouds. Tomorrow was December first.

Christmas was close, but she'd have no one to spend that day with. Her parents disowned her, so she sure wouldn't be with them. She wouldn't see Ami because her parents were too afraid that their 'golden child' would be tainted by her. She'd probably see Gray for a few moments, and then he'd have to go home, or be forced to face consequences she wouldn't allow him to face. She also knew that she'd leave the Dragneel's for that day, so she didn't intrude. Like last year, she'd go to the cemetery on the opposite end of town, in the run down district.

Lisanna was in her next class, along with Levy and Loki as well. He hadn't returned to school since her suicide attempt, but he had texted and called her relentlessly. Come to think of it, she never even checked any of them. The voicemails were deleted without even being heard. She wished she had someone like Wendy in the class with her, but she didn't. Dammit. Like in every other class, she sat in the back right corner next to the window.

"Lisanna," Levy whispered. "Did you hear?" The other girl shook her head, and Loki was listening intently. He was hoping for information about Lucy, and he'd been eavesdropping all morning. "Natsu let her wear his jacket again. He was whispering in her ear this morning in the parking lot and he walked her to her locker."

"What?" Loki asked. That didn't sound right. Lucy rarely talked to new people.

"Yeah," Levy said, ignoring Lisanna's raged face. "Then he touched her shoulder and she freaked out. She jumped away and apparently said 'don't ever touch me again.'"

Lisanna was pissed off. Natsu was hers. In her mind, he loved her passionately and they were going to get married. In his mind however…well he wanted an anvil to conveniently fall on her. She didn't know that though. She completely ignored the part where it was him who touched her, not the other way around.

She looked over at the blonde haired cutter. Her eyes narrowed. She strode across the room to her desk, sporting a cheap smile and a bad tan. Her hand slammed down on the table. Lucy didn't even flinch or move from her view. "You," Lisanna growled. Lucy just ignored her. "Stay away from Natsu." Lucy didn't even acknowledge her presence. The girl got angrier, not wanting to be ignored. Lucy was telling herself to not react and cause a small scene again. "Don't you fucking ignore me."

"Whatever." The word was her only reply.

XXX

She was enraged. Wendy looked at her friend as she sent the death stare to a boy whispering her name. His soul left his body in fear.

"For a girl who keeps up the pretense of being timid and harmless, you can sure get terrifying." Wendy said and whistled as they walked out the front doors. "I think you may have even scared my brother shitless." That part was probably true. "If you were yourself everyone once in a while, people would back down. But what you do is you. I've got your back even if you act timid and harmless."

"My patience is really wearing thin. It's one thing to spread rumors. But if you touch me I will make the terminator look like the cowardly lion."

Wendy snickered. "You know, you really are really funny." Lucy flashed a genuine smile. "Do you work tonight?" She nodded. "Damn, well I'm following you to work."

Lucy sighed. "Alright, I'm used to it by now anyways."

Natsu shot up to them and stopped them. "Wait. Swim practice is cancelled, so I can drive you two home." He was panting like he'd run a mile.

Lucy just gave him a look. "I'm going to work, and she," She flipped her thumb to her blonde, intimidating best friend. "Is coming with me. So we can walk." She pushed past him. He jogged back up to her.

"What's your deal?" he asked, looking at her. She looked stressed, depressed and pissed all at the same time.

She kept walking past him. He stopped and just watched her walk away. She acted like she really hated him. He wondered if that could really be the case. Wendy glanced back at him and shrugged. He noticed her sleeves were pulled down over her arms. It made him wonder.

XXX

"Stop that! Wendy, that's not a toy!" Lucy resisted the urge to bang her head against the wall repeatedly. Her best friend was truly an idiot when she was having fun. "Wendy Marvell, don't! That a," her voice was cut off when she sprayed a customer with the nozzle for the fountain drinks. She spun around to apologize. "I'm so-" Natsu was standing there smirking. "Never mind, I'm not sorry." She smirked back to confuse him.

Don't use my smirk on me! No fair!

"What are you doing here?" she asked.

"Loki showed up at the house." He told her with a serious face. "He's pretty determined to see you. Are you ready to call bullshit?" he asked, referring to the other night. She laughed and then looked down.

"I don't want to talk to him." She said. He nodded.

"Well, he said he'd swing by here to look for you, so I thought I'd come tell you two." He said.

Her eyes widened. He was being caring? She nodded. "Alright, well," She paused. "I'm sorry about this morning." Wendy wasn't even paying attention anymore. She had her head under the machine nozzle and was guzzling pop. Her and Gray would defiantly be friends for a lonnnng time._ It's more like baby-sitting_. She thought this quietly. "I probably confused you." He nodded and waited. "That doesn't mean I'll explain it to you." She said.

"There you go getting my hopes up," he grumbled. It wasn't Loki though. Good. She shrugged though.

"Can I get you anything?"

"Can I get one of those cinnamon rolls you gave me on Friday?" She nodded and pulled one freshly made from the oven. She handed it to him. "Thanks. So how is your arm?" He asked.

Immediately, she was a little on edge. There wasn't a way for him to know, right? She kept telling herself that. She didn't know that he asked because he wanted to see if her reaction said she'd done anything.

He wanted to look at her arm and see what was there. But she would probably yell or hit him. She might just give him the death stare and walk away. Not to mention, that would involve touching her and seemed to seriously bother her.

"It's fine," She said and tried to smile. He was probably asking out of sheer politeness and trying to make conversation. He handed her a five and she handed him a few bills back as change and some pocket change. He tossed the money into a jar the manager put out for charity. She donated a few dollars every night.

Her phone vibrated in her pocket and she groaned. She just hoped it wasn't Loki. It wasn't. It was a text from Ami and that surprised her.

_I miss you :(_

Just seeing her sister's name flash across the screen made her smile. She texted back.

_ I miss you too, Ami_._ I'm at work, so I'll talk to you later. Love you._ She closed her phone and slid it back into her apron's pocket.

Wendy was playing with the spray nozzles again, and she shot her brother with the stream of soda. Lucy snickered and went to grab him a towel from the storage closet in the back.

XXX

When the three of them got home, Natsu went straight to his room. Her reaction his question earlier in the night was still in his mind. He wanted to do something, but didn't know what. She wouldn't even talk him much, let alone vent to him or let him see her arm.

His phone was ringing non-stop. It was Lisanna and he wasn't picking up. He needed to break up with her, but wasn't sure how. It's not that he had trouble breaking up with girls. It's that he'd tried before and she didn't really take him seriously.

His mind kept going back to the girl in the next room. What could he do to help? How could he help stop the cutting? She didn't seem like she wanted to at all. But he couldn't fathom why anyone would do this. Natsu would get Lucy to talk to him, and in the process he'd do something he hoped would help and not backfire on him.

He was going to take away the razor blades.


	4. Chapter 4

She got up before Wendy to redo her bandages. This way her friend couldn't insist on doing it herself like she was doing every single morning. The days ago Lucy nearly shredded her arm in the school bathroom. Since then there had been a few close calls. Natsu nearly saw the mutilation when he walked into her room while she was changing the gauze. She suspected Grandine was close to figuring out what she did.

"Goddamn," She hissed as she put the peroxide of her arm. She snatched up her pillow and bit down on it, curling her arm to her chest. It fucking hurt. If it was her choice, she wouldn't be bothering with cleaning it, but if an infection showed up and anyone checked… That was a scary thought. Earlier last night Igneel said her remaining cuts should be about healed-he meant the ones before her episode she'd had-so she'd be able to take off the bandages. Her solution came rather quick. Hoodies and the arm warmers some girls sported for looks was her answer to hide them.

There was a knock on the door and her head snapped up. _Son of-_ the door opened. She grabbed the gauze before Natsu's eyes registered what was happening. He saw her wrap her arm up furiously, curling it close to her. He arched his eyebrow. "Hiding something?" he asked casually. Her cheeks colored red.

"Nope." She said calmly. She stood and leaned back on her right leg-that was behind her. Her jacket was black and red, unzipped with the hood down. On her feet were worn up high top converse that were tied loosely. "Anyways, I have to go." She said. They may not have school today, but she had work. "I have work." She said, grabbing her text book that had her homework in it. She'd do it while she was working. Well, while she wasn't taking orders.

"Alright," He said, leaning against the door frame watching her pull her sleeve down and looking everywhere but him. His eyes narrowed. She was definitely hiding something. She looked like she was ready to bolt out of the room. He kept his gaze on her. Would she crack?

She didn't crack at all. Ignoring the disbelief etched on his face, she ushered him out of her room while she walked out and closed the door. She walked down the stairs, shoving her cell phone into her dark jeans. When the door slammed, he watched his watch until five minutes passed. She was far enough from the house now.

He pushed off the wall and heard his sister's voice. "What the hell are you doing?" she asked, crossing her arms. _Fuck. Well if you must know I'm trying to help Amu. _He was trying to. He'd take the razor blades, and she'd stop right? He thought it was simple. It wasn't. Cutting is like an addiction for some people. You find yourself suspended in grief and find yourself overwhelmed.

From there it's impulse. That was how it was for Amu. Right after the funeral she found a box knife in her room. It was right after her parents screamed at her saying it was her fault and how they were so ashamed to have raised someone so selfish. She took the razor blade out and slashed it and watched the blood spill.

But Natsu didn't know that at all. He didn't know about the verbal abuse. He didn't know half of the bullying and torment. He had no idea about the attack or the grief. Wendy did and she had a bad feeling about her brother loitering outside Lucy's room.

"Nothing," He said simply. He tried not to twitch under her gaze as she stared him up and down. She passed him in a curtain of blue hair. He wasn't going to listen to her anyways, so she guessed he'd have to find out on his own.

"If you go into her life, you won't come out unscathed." She said as she turned with tears in her eyes. "Take my word here. If you keep trying to get to know her, to find answers to questions she can't even answer, you won't come out the same." She smiled. "You'll know her though. You'll understand, even if it takes time." His eyes widened. It was like she was giving him permission. Well, she was kind of like a body guard for Lucy.

"How bad is it?" He asked, and for once he received an answer.

"Her story?" She asked and he nodded. Wendy looked down sadly. "It's darker than you can imagine, Natsu."

XXX

He found them in her messenger bag she always carried to school. They were in a small pink pouch made for a Neutrogena Wave. Now that he thought about it, she owned one that she kept in the bathroom here. _Sneaky_, he thought. He checked the pouch to find ten to twenty blades. His eyes widened. Were there more? He tore through her beg, rummaging. "Ow, fuck." He hissed. He pricked his finger on another one. He stripped her bag of all of razor blades.

Ikuto knew she was going to fly into a hate rage when she saw they were gone. He didn't care though. He was getting rid of them. Honestly, he didn't care whether it was 'none of his concern' or not. So, now her room was completely void of anything sharp.

He saw a black notebook sitting on her nightstand. "I wonder what this is," he said to himself. Slowly, he sat down and picked it up. He shouldn't read it. It was personal to her. She probably vented about everything inside of it. Before he could stop himself, he opened the first page and let his eyes fall to the line paper.

XXX

_It's like the world is crashing under the pressure of tidal waves. It's like everything has been my fault since the accident. I… I don't know how to live. I don't know how to smile real smiles. I don't know how to laugh without feelings of hollowness in the chambers of my heart. You could say that I'm over dramatic. Maybe that's true._

_I'm running out of energy, living this lie. I'm not okay at all, but I don't know how to reach out. I'd love to get better, but I won't let myself. They're dead because of me; how could I possibly be happy when those girls are gone? It doesn't make sense to me even now. It's been a year, but the memory is fresh. As it should be. I could never forget that night._

_My parents are screaming again. This time it's louder. Like every other time, it's about me, about the attack. They're ashamed and I can hear every words. They don't even let me talk to Ami anymore. Gray has to fight to talk to me now._

_I'd do anything to go back and throw myself in front of my friends._

Natsu found himself breathless. He didn't understand the journal entry at all. He understood the angry writing though. Lucy must have pressed down so hard into the paper… Across the lines her words were writing in sorrow, and frustration. It was almost like he could feel the guilt from her writing.

He didn't understand what happened at all. Attack? She was attacked? Her friends were killed, he figured that much out. What was there to be guilty about though?

He flipped towards the back to the last entry. His eyes got wide. Gray had given her back the suicide note and here it was tucked in the back. He unfolded it and took a deep breath.

_Gray, Ami, and Wendy,_

_I love all three of you to death, and now I'll love you past that. Thank you for the support you've given me. I'm grateful for my time spent with you. Wendy, you're an amazing girl, and an even more amazing friend. You made me feel safe and I know how you sheltered me. I'm staying calm in this letter, because I don't want you to read my hysterical writing._

_All three of you know how I feel over what happened to Erza, Mira, and Juvia. Those three girls were my best friends and my confidents. Now they're gone. It's hard to live wearing a mask when all you want to do is die. Half of this won't even make sense. I'm sorry. You know that I cut, you've seen my scars._

_I would cut one last time to end it, but I'm afraid I couldn't finish it. I'll jump into water, because I can't swim. Then I can't turn back._

_I love you three so much and so deeply. Please, don't mourn this like I know you've said you would. I hate goodbyes, but this is a long one. Gray, don't get mad at Mom and Dad, okay? Ami, grow up and stay safe. Don't walk the streets at night like I did. Wendy, you don't have to stay strong for me anymore. You've done that for so long, and I don't want to see you hurt like that anymore._

_If it's okay to ask for one thing, I'll ask. I won't hear you voice your replies. It's up to you. My one request is simple… Remember me._

_I love you._

_Love Lucy Heartfilia._

Tears were rolling down his face without him even realizing it. How did she do it? How did she put on that mask and look so calm all the time? He didn't understand at all. As he was folding the note back, he saw one sentence written under a date, the night of her suicide attempt.

_Arigato, Natsu Dragneel._

He smiled at that and ran his fingers across the words. For now, he knew enough. Now, he just wanted her to open up. Even if that was a hard task to accomplish, he wanted to be her friend.

XXX

"I'm breaking up with you." Natsu said bluntly, not even trying to sugar coat it. The popular girl in front of him blinked and then laughed.

"Natsu-koi, you're so funny! You scared me there for a second!" she laughed and went to walk away to Levy and Loki.

"I'm not kidding, Lisanna." He said seriously, shoving his hands in his pocket. "I'm breaking up with you." The only way to describe her expression was stunned. He couldn't be serious, she was sure.

So she pouted. "Natsu," she whined, running her fake, hot pink, acrylic nails up his biceps. "We love each other though." He had to wonder if she was on drugs, because he really didn't love her.

"I don't love you," he said. Under any other circumstances, he wouldn't be so blunt and cold hearted. "I don't even like you." They had been dating a week and she thought he loved her? He had never loved a girl, and she was not the first one. Fake tears slid down her spray tanned cheeks.

He barely saw her evil smile before she screamed. "You cheated on me with Lucy Heartfilia?"

He looked at her stunned. What did she just say? What was the point of even saying that? Then he realized it. Everyone started to talk and whisper. Lucy had to walk down this hall to her next class. Unwanted attention would go back to Lucy again and she'd go through hell. After reading those journal entries, he just couldn't let that happen.

"Why do you always talk about her Lisanna?" he yelled. Everyone stopped and looked. "Are you so pathetic that you have to talk about someone you know nothing about? And no, I didn't cheat on you. _You cheated on me with Loki._"

Her eyes widened. "How did you know?" she choked out and everyone heard it.

"I didn't," he said and stormed away. Lucy was not coming down this hallway right now. He'd make sure of it.

He saw her coming down the hallway talking to someone he didn't recognize. Too bad, their conversation would have to wait. "Come on," He said and grabbed her arm, pulling her the other way. She struggled some until he gripped her bad arm. At risk of any cuts being opened, she let him drag her along.

When they got to the lobby of the school, she spoke. "What the hell was that?"

"Lisanna said something, and it would have given you unwanted attention." She arched an eyebrow in disbelief that he was helping her. Jeez. Was it that hard to believe now? "I didn't want you around it. It seems that you've got enough to deal with."

She leaned against one wall while he leaned against the other on the other side of the hallway. "Thanks... I guess. You didn't have to do that. I've been dealing with Lisanna since I moved here." She looked around. "Natsu," she said quietly. "Why did you take my razors out of my bag and room?" He froze. How did she know it was him? "You dropped this in my bag while you were in here." She tossed him his school I.D. Damn, he wasn't so sneaky.

"I wanted to help."

"So stealing helps?" She kicked her right leg up and let her worn converse high tops flatten against the wall. A teacher was bound to walk out any second and see them skipping class. He kicked the tile.

"Cutting helps?" He said back. She shrugged and looked around. "Take off the mask and let me see you." He said.

"Hell no." Well, that didn't go like he planned. "To answer your question, yes, in my mind, cutting helps. I don't expect you to understand at all." That was the problem, he didn't understand and he wanted to understand. "It doesn't really matter that you took them though." She said with a smirk.

"Why not?"

"I have money, you know. I can buy more razor blades. You stealing them once will only irritate me a little."

"I'll steal them again," He challenged.

"Do you really think I'd hide them in the same place twice?" she replied lazily. She had a point. She was smart enough to find multiple hiding places.

"Do you really think I'd stop trying to steal them?" he shot back, almost enjoying talking to her. This was the most she'd talked to him to be honest.

She changed the subject. "What happened with Lisanna?"

"I broke up with her." He said.

"Ah, on to the next girl of the week?" She said. His eyes nearly popped out of his head.

"It's not like that," he mumbled. "All I do is date them. From the look on your face you think I do something else with them." She nodded, not really believing what he said. "So you believe the rumors about me."

"They're kind of hard to ignore."

"Maybe that's what people think about the rumors about you." He said, a little meanly.

"Maybe," She said. "But it's different from when they say you fuck every girl. People outside this school spread rumors about me and say I'm a murderer." He froze to the spot as she pushed off the wall and stood in front of him. "Maybe you've got a point and maybe I do too."

After that, she strode away.

"Who the hell is that girl?" He muttered. "She sure doesn't look like a murderer…"

XXX

No one so as much looked at her the rest of the day. There were no whispers or anything.

Right after school, she headed to work.

XXX

The door chimed and two police officers walked up to Lucy, who sat behind the counter doing her Math homework. They flashed their badges and she recognized them both from the investigation of the attack. She bowed her head in respect and rushed to pour them some coffee. She set the two cups down in front of them and sat down, smoothing her apron slash skirt.

"Can I help you?" she asked quietly. They were probably here with news over the unsolved attack. They always came to give her news. It was never to tell her they found the group of men though.

"We haven't found them." One of the men sighed and gave her an apologetic look.

"It's alright," She said. "I've had to accept they probably won't be found. Everyone blames me anyways." She looked down.

The two men thought the same thing. The death of three best friends was a heavy burden on the seventeen year old girl's shoulders. "We heard about the suicide attempt." She smiled a little at his forwardness. "We wanted to see if you were alright."

She shrugged. "I'm okay. I just have school and stuff."

"Is everyone treating you alright at school?"

"Yes, I have a lot of friends." She lied with a perfect smile. And they bought it.

"Alright. Well, we're still looking for them, alright?" She nodded and felt the crushing guilt of being the only survivor.

XXX

"Hey." He said, leaning against his car that was parallel parked out in the street. He was smiling. Lucy was confused. She'd basically called herself a murderer and he was here to give her a ride home? "You look rough." He stated.

"You sure know how to treat a girl." She grumbled, rubbing her streaked mascara away. She'd been crying, but she'd be alright. He snickered.

"Come on. You must be tired." He said, even opening her door for her. She slipped into the seat. When he got in on his side he spoke. "About what you said," He looked over at her. She was already passed out. He saw bandages on her arm. The bandages looked dried with blood. She'd done it again. What was happening when Wendy, Gray or he wasn't around?

When he parked in the driveway, he ran around and picked her up out of the car. He carried her past his parents, oblivious to their knowing smiles, and up her to her room. After tucking her in, he saw a picture of four girls on the nightstand. One of them was Lucy. He thought he recognized it, but brushed it off.


	5. Authors Note!

**Real quick Author's note: (Next chapter will be later on today or tomorrow due to thanksgiving!)**

**I would like to apologize for all of the Amu and Ikuto things in here! I feel terrible because so far i think i have done best on this story compared to my previous ones and yet here I go putting Amu and Ikuto in a NaLu fanfic. Reasons why are here:**

- I have recently watched and finished Shugo Chara (Such a good anime)

- Lately i have been reading many Shuugo Chara fanfics

- I am in the process of writing a Shugo Chara fanfic.

**All in all i have had a lot of Amu and Ikuto on my hands. Please forgive me for all of the mistakes! If you will please tell me the part of the mishap and I will fix them as soon as possible! Thank you for reading! Over and out~**

**iloveanime12**


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